Job stress, fibro and plantar fasciitis flare ups, and ongoing struggles taking toll on my health

 

First, I just want to apologize for my long absence. My health was not great, and my job was busy and demanding. I started walking with a walker, and the hotel where I work became incredibly understaffed. I was so busy and tired that I wasn't able to post. I have been fighting to be able to use my accommodations under the ADA at work, such as sitting down to work and taking regular breaks. Even now, they don't want me to sit on my walker, it's the rollator type with a seat and wheels, and I have a doctor's note stating I can use it as needed at work as a reasonable accommodation under the ADA. I have had to open another EEOC claim against them; this is the second one I have had to do.

I returned to physical therapy, as the first time it helped me a lot and I was able to walk much better and get off of my crutches. They want one of my goals to be to stop needing my walker so much, but that's not a goal I said I wanted with my PT. The nature of my conditions is such that I will flare up and go back to needing them again. The nature of fibromyalgia and plantar fasciitis is such that it is unpredictable, and it flares up and gets worse at times. It has triggers that make it such that you will need more assistance and need to rely on mobility aids more at times than at other times, so it's not a good idea to have a goal to get off of mobility aids with physical therapy.

You just get finished with your PT session and need them back again. It's better to have the goal be to need them less and to be able to move around better, have better balance and have more range of motion and to be able to use your feet, legs, etc., better and have them be stronger rather than just to stop needing the mobility aid for good, because it's likely to be something you're unable to do for good. I like the goal my physical therapist gave me in my last session of being able to walk for 30 minutes without my walker rather than getting to a point where I never need it anymore at all, because that is unrealistic for me.

Fibromyalgia is so unpredictable that you can't guarantee someone will stop needing a mobility aid because of it forever, because they went to physical therapy. Not to mention this is a rather ableist goal because it is coming from a place of it not being normal to need a mobility aid and that physical therapy is for you to get back to that normal place of being able to function without it, when that's just not how it works. First of all, being like the able-bodied and not needing a mobility aid isn't normal; normal isn't real, it's a dryer setting. Differences are typical of the world; it's a diverse place, and to consider the way a subset of people is as normal is not helpful and nor is it actually what normal is. Normal is a subjective, relative term, and no two people's definition of normal will be the same.

My fibromyalgia, plantar fasciitis, ADHD, and 16 other conditions are chronic and will not be going away at all. These are things I will have for the rest of my life. They can be treated and they can improve, but they'll never be gone. For people to act like they will go away if I stop needing crutches, a cane, a walker, or other mobility aid is unacceptable, because they will still be there whether or not I'm using my mobility aid. Chronic means you keep it and it ebbs and flows, but has no cure and never goes away. I have had fibromyalgia since age 10, plantar fasciitis since age 10 also, if not younger, I have had ADHD since I started school, and other conditions I have had various lengths of time between kindergarten and now, including having migraines since 5-year-old kindergarten.

If these things could go away, I wouldn't have had them for 20, 30, and 40 years or more. If they could go away, why would I still have them, as if I am choosing to do so or something? There's no reason I would choose to continue to live with horrible, even at times excruciating pain when I could get rid of it. If this stuff had a cure, why on earth would I keep it? I am not choosing to keep my chronic illnesses; they are chronic, which means they stay regardless of what I want and what I do, I might be able to improve them, but I can't cure them. With this being the case, my goal isn't to stop needing my mobility aids while I still have these conditions that aren't ever going to go completely away, that doesn't even make sense. This is why I don't understand why my physical therapists always want my PT goals to include getting to a point where I don't need my mobility aid. It doesn't even make sense with a chronic illness that will never be gone but will sometimes get better and sometimes get worse. Stay tuned for more of my journey, and I hope to post more regularly now that I have some time and am doing a bit better healthwise.